Hello Readers! Today I bring you author Jess Haines. Jess says she is a workaholic who loves coffee and chocolate and can’t survive without books. She’s originally from New York, but she currently lives in Los Angeles because it is suitably weird enough for the time being. She enjoys karaoke and bad movies, and have a menagerie of animals to keep her company when she’s not writing.
As for her background, she’s worked office jobs from the bottom to the top of the corporate food chain. She’s spent far too much time in the field of law. Currently her day job involves technical writing. That pays the bills, while writing fiction keeps her (relatively) sane. She’s proud to call herself a gamer geek, and probably would have wormed herself into that industry eventually if she hadn’t turned herself into a Real Life Author.
Jess is a featured author attending Author’s After Dark in New Orleans. For more information about AAD2012, click HERE.
Also, keep reading to learn more about Jess’s upcoming release, Stalking the Others, and enter to win a copy! GIVEAWAY details are below.
Please help me welcome Jess to That’s What I’m Talking About.
STALKING THE OTHERS BLOG TOUR
Guest Post Stop 8: Vampiric Behavior – Part 2
By Jess Haines
Shiarra has been having a pretty bad time of things lately. She’s here with some of her friends (and otherwise) to tell you about it. The H&W gang are going to continue grilling Royce about some common misconceptions about vampires. (Head over to A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation if you missed the first part.) Over to you, Shia!
Shiarra: I don’t think you were very forthcoming with that last question.
Royce: You’re not wrong about that.
Sara: It’s funny how he thinks being obtuse is the same thing as being mysterious.
Arnold: I maintain my position that he should be truthful about this stuff for science. The people deserve to know!
Royce: Mage, you, of all people, should be more educated than the rest of this lot about my kind. Didn’t your mentor teach you anything about other supernatural creatures?
Arnold: Of course, but the focus was on the ones I was going to be interacting with on a regular basis. You know, elves and other fey, mostly. Oh, and planar beings.
Chaz: What are fey? And planar beings?
Arnold: Fey are magical critters. Fairies and pixies and stuff.
Shiarra: And planar beings?
Arnold: The animals magi use as familiars. They aren’t from this plane of existence. We have to summon them here. Hence, planar beings.
Chaz: That sounds like a lot of work.
Arnold: It is.
Royce: Are you quite finished?
Shiarra: I don’t know, I’m getting tired of asking you questions you won’t answer. At least Arnold isn’t afraid to tell us all his magic secrets.
Arnold: Well, not all my magic secrets. They wouldn’t be so secret if I shared everything about how I work my mojo.
Royce: Fine, fine. I’ll make an effort to be more forthcoming.
Shiarra: Jeez, don’t get too excited…
Sara: Hey, let’s take advantage of this while we can. So do vampires crawl up the walls?
Royce: You people have some very strange ideas about vampires.
Shiarra: C’mon, you promised to answer.
Royce: Very well. I suppose we could, if the wall was strong enough to support our weight and the vampire was old enough to have developed the strength to pierce the rock or plaster with their fingers.
Chaz: You can’t grow claws?
Arnold: Or cling like a spider? Or a gecko or something?
Royce: In case it has escaped your notice, the change into a vampire doesn’t include growing Velcro on our fingertips. And my nail technician generally doesn’t approve of filing my nails into claws. I imagine my PR people would also have an issue with the image that would represent to the general public.
Shiarra: Wait a sec. You have a nail technician?
Chaz: I’m imagining a dude with a hack saw and a bunch of electronic equipment—
Shiarra: No, no, no. He’s talking about someone who does manicures and pedicures. God, I can’t believe I dated you for almost a year.
Sara: Neither can I.
Royce: Nor I.
Shiarra: Gee, thanks, guys.
Arnold: To be fair, I was kinda thinking the same thing.
Sara: Why does a vampire need manicure? I mean… you’re kinda… dead, aren’t you? Stuff doesn’t still, er… grow, does it?
Shiarra: Ew. I never thought of that. Now I want to know, too.
Royce: It depends. When we are changed, our bodies are usually locked into a mildly enhanced version of what we looked like when we were alive. If we do something to change that version of ourselves, such as cutting our hair, it will eventually grow back.
Chaz: What if you cut something else off?
Royce: Don’t even think about it, you flea-infested mongrel.
Chaz: Come here and say that to my face, buddy.
Arnold: Wow. I just realized why vampire chicks who were turned hundreds of years ago can have such flawless legs.
Chaz: Wait, what?
Arnold: Honey, I don’t mean it like—
Sara: Not amused, here.
Arnold: No, seriously, I wasn’t joking around—
Shiarra: I think you’re making things worse on yourself.
Sara: You and I need to have a talk.
Arnold: Babe, I’m sorry. I just meant I’ve seen a few vampires come by The Circle now and then, and they usually wear skirts and stuff that shows off their legs. If they were made back in the day and when they’re turned they were all hairy, it makes sense that they can shave or wax so they can pull off the Gothic sex kitten look so many of them shoot for.
Royce: I’m not sure if I should be amused or concerned that he’s put this much thought into the subject.
Sara: Not. Amused.
Shiarra: He’s a guy. They notice those things.
Chaz: Yeah. We really do.
Shiarra: Wasn’t talking to you.
Chaz: What? I can’t have an opinion?
Arnold: Sorry, honey. I’ll never look at another girl’s legs again.
Chaz: Good luck with that, man.
Sara: You stay out of this!
Royce: I suppose the mage has a point. Like other people, we do have to put some effort into maintaining our appearance.
Shiarra: Huh. Who knew?
You can also visit me on the web:
Thanks again for having me and the gang over, Jen!
You can also find Jess:
Saturday, July 07, 2012 at 2:00PM
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA 91505
Stalking the Others (Zebra/Kensington Publishing, July 3, 2012)
Once, she was one of the good guys–or as close as a New York P.I. can get. Then Shiarra Waynest was drawn into the world of the Others. Every faction has its own loyalties and agenda. And Shia’s recent betrayal by her ex-boyfriend means that she may be on the verge of becoming a rogue werewolf at the next full moon.
Of course, with all the threats against her, Shia’s not sure she’ll live long enough to find out. The enigmatic vampire Royce wants her back in his clutches, as do two powerful werewolf packs, along with the police. Instead of going into hiding, Shia is enlisting the aid of her enchanted hunter’s belt and every dirty P.I. trick she knows. If she’s going down, she’ll take out as many of her enemies as she can–and hope that in the process, she keeps whatever humanity she has left…
GIVEAWAY Thank you, Jess, for stopping by That’s What I’m Talking About. Jess & Kensington Publishing are graciously giving away fifteen (15) copies of Stalking the Others during her blog tour. To enter, please fill out the rafflecopter form below, and visit the others sites on the tour for more chances to win! Winners will be announced after the blog tour is over, and Kensington will mail the prizes to the winners directly. For more information about the blog tour, please visit Jess’s website.
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