Celebrating 2012 Books & The Princess Bride

Posted December 31, 2012 by Vampbard in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes, when I’m reading a book that I’m really into, I MAY have been known to assign characters from a book to a series or movie.  I decided that for my year-end post that I would create a cast list for a   25th Anniversary edition of The Princess Bride.  One of my all-time FAVORITE movies.  If you’ve NOT seen this awesome flick, check out the IMDB link and rent it, buy it or find it for download somewhere!
Here is the cast of the Princess Bride retooled with characters from some of the books I read in 2012:
Westley – Florent, from The Oracle Glass by Judith Merkle Riley  
Westley, much like Florent, is giving.  He is willing to be seen as the bad guy as long as people leave him alone, and they allow him to live his life.  
Inigo Montoya – Tohrment, from Lover Reborn by J.R. Ward  
Seriously.  If Ward had used, “My name is Tohrment.  You killed my shellan.  Prepare to die,” when he was killing those pale dudes, I may or may not have reacted, as I said this phrase over & over while reading the book.
Prince Humperdinck – Julian, from Redlisted by Sarah Beaman  
Julian seems to run the show.  He’s not disobeyed openly, and it appears as though he is the man.  Not sure if I believe this…but thereyago.
Count Tyrone Rugen – Harvey McLeod, from Every Breath She Takes by Norah Wilson  
Harvey is a jerk, and wants the main character to sell his ranch to him.  He’ll do (practically) whatever it takes to make himself successful.
Vizzini – Nico, from City of Dark Magic by Magnus Flyte  
Nico and Vizzini both have the tenacity of a pit bull once they lock-on to a target.  Their creativity is phenomenal, and they seem to work well with certain others. Also, they’re both small-of-stature.  Probably helps the Napoleon complex.
Fezzik – Tommy, from The Final Piece by Maggi Myers  
Seemingly larger-than-life, Tommy is Beth’s great protector, much like Fezzik protected Buttercup and Wesley.
The Princess Bride (Buttercup) – Raina, In the Company of Witches by Joey W. Hill  
Raina has the perfect blend of ‘let it happen’ and ‘control the situation’, much like Buttercup.  
Valerie – Hilde, Provoked by Rebecca Zanetti   
This sassy granny wasn’t afraid to contradict others, standing up for what was right or things in which she believed.  Including pulling people that thought they were all that & a bag-o-chips down a couple pegs.
Miracle Max – Garrett, Heart Secret by Robin D. Owens   
Max was able to tinker with spells and potions.  Garrett, however, was a skilled investigator.  He was able to tinker with the lives of others that might be in trouble, and be able to clear their names…or further incriminate them.  
So.  If you’ve read these titles, the following is going to be HILARIOUS!  If you’ve NOT read them, but seen the movie, you may be persuaded to pick up a book or two.  If you’ve not read the books nor seen the movie, you may be lost…but the dialogue is epic anyway!  I picked up the Princess Bride script from: http://www.princessbride.8m.com/script.htm … because it’s tedious to type out a script from a movie (not that I’ve ever done that… **sideeye**).  
Garrett:  Hoo hoo hoo! Look who knows so much, heh? Well, it just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please, open his mouth. Puts the bellows to Florent’s mouth, and blows air in.  Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead… well, with all dead, there’s usually only one thing that you can do. 

Tohrment: What’s that? 

Garrett:  Go through his clothes and look for loose change.  Removes the bellows.  Hey! Hello in there! Hey! What’s so important? What you got here that’s worth living for? Pushes on Florent’s abdomen. 

Florent:  t-r-u-e  l-o-v-e. 

Tohrment:  “True Love,” you heard him? You could not ask for a more noble cause than that. 

Garrett:  Sonny, True Love is the greatest thing in the world 
Tohrment:  This is Raina’s True Love. If you heal him, he will stop Julian’s wedding. 

Garrett:  Shah! Wait, wait. I make him better, Julian suffers? 

Tohrment:  Humiliations galore. 

Garrett:  Ha ha ha! Hi dah lig dah lah nay juh! That is a noble cause. Gimme the sixty-five. I’m on the job. 

Hilde:  Woo-woo!  
Harvey:  Kill the dark one and the giant, but leave the third for questioning. 

Tohrment: Kills charging guards.  Hello. My name is Tohrment. You killed my father. Prepare to die. 

Rugen pauses, then turns and runs. Tohrment chases him.  Florent and Tommy look at each other. 

Tohrment:  Tommy!!!!!! I need you!!!!! Rams body against door repeatedly. 

TommyGesturing to Florent, who he is supporting.  I can’t leave him alone. 

Tohrment:  He’s getting away from me, Tommy!!! Please!!! Arr!!! Tommy!!! Aaargh!! 

TommyPlaces Florent against a suit of armor.  I’ll be right back. 

TohrmentContinuing to ram the door. Arr! Arr! Tommy breaks the door down. Thank you. 
Ever read a book and instantly you think about a character from a movie?  What are your favorites? 
Happy 2013!  Best wishes for a year filled with fabulous plots, strong heroines, and hot heroes!  

6 responses to “Celebrating 2012 Books & The Princess Bride

  1. OMG, I’m wiping tears away. “My name is Tohrment. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Thank you so much for this, and for including my villain Harvye. The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies ever, from the ROUS (rodents of unusual size) to the iocaine powder. 🙂