Author: Melanie Summers
Release Date: Date
Series: A Crazy Royal Love Romantic Comedy, Book 2
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Pajamas, Portion Control, and Having it All…
“Welcome to margaritas and man-bash Monday,” I say as I step aside to let Tessa (the world’s greatest sister-in-law) and Nikki (her bestie and now one of mine) into my apartment. Tessa has her blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s dressed in her SpongeBob pajamas, while Nikki, who is a hairdresser (sporting bright pink-to-purple ombre locks today) is in Juicy sweats and a tee. They walk in, and as I’m closing the door, I realize Bellford, my faithful bodyguard, heard me. I poke my head out into the hall and say, “Not you, obviously.”
“Of course, Your Highness,” he replies with a slight nod. Bellford is the best. He’s been my bodyguard since I was a teenager. He’s like a calming presence in my life and always allows me just enough space to give me the illusion of being independent whilst keeping me completely safe.
I shut the door and turn. “Let the games begin!”
“Yes, let’s! Four months without man-bash Mondays is way too long,” Nikki says, setting down two large paper bags on the dining table.
“Did you get me the kung pao chicken with the sauce on the side?” Tessa asks as she unpacks our dinner.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Nikki says, bowing at the waist.
I gasp, then realize Nikki’s trying to wind us up by calling Tessa by a title reserved solely for the ruling monarch.
“Oh, good. You remembered the steamed rice.” Tessa has been trying to lose the last twenty pounds of baby weight for over two years without much success. Poor thing can never quite be as glam as Impossibly Perfect Kate (as we call her), which really bothers her. Tessa’s only got one manny (who works days) and twins, neither of whom are what you’d call ‘good sleepers,’ meaning she’s up with one or the other every night only to wake early to a full itinerary. As she’s explained to me several times, this causes her to have uncontrollable sugar cravings due to reduced serotonin. She also has a serious addiction to crisps and freshly baked scones (which are basically unavoidable when you live in a palace), but we don’t talk about that.
The three of us start lifting lids off the containers and plating the food, Tessa careful to only take the steamed vegetables and the plain chicken and broccoli with a tiny dollop of sauce on the side. When we’re done, Nikki shakes her head at Tessa’s plate. “What a sad little dinner.”
“Agreed,” Tessa says, staring longingly at Nikki’s heap of saucy colourful goodness. “But it’s T-minus one-month until we go to England where I’ll be forced into another official couples photo with Princess Perfect and two sexy crown princes.”
I’m about to pour her a margarita, but she covers the glass with her hand. “None for me, thanks. This is a DEFCON 1 situation here. Xavier’s got me down to 1200 calories a day, and I already went over at lunch when Flora didn’t finish her alphabet pasta. Did you know there are over a hundred calories in only three tablespoons of that stuff?”
“I can’t say I did.” I walk over to the liquor cart and lift a bottle of Skinny Bitch Vodka, holding it up to Tessa. “Sixty calories okay?”
“Dear God, yes, but promise to stop me at one,” Tessa says. Scraping two spoonfuls of steamed rice back into the container, she says, “Maybe two.”
She means four.
When I return to the table, I set her drink down in front of her and take a seat. I’m about to take a bite when Nikki says, “So, tell us everything. How was sailing around the South Pacific with Will Banks, the hottie hot hot adventure man? How’s the sex? Fantastic, right? I bet he’s amazing, what with all those climbing and agility skills he’s got going on.”
I grin, my cheeks heating up as I nod. “It was wonderful. The water was just so blue and warm. I’ve never been as relaxed in my entire life.”
Nikki and Tessa both give me the ‘quit holding out on us’ look.
“And he’s incredible in bed.”
“I knew it,” Nikki says, rolling her eyes. “He’s probably quite acrobatic, like those Ukrainian dancer men.”
“Oooh, yes!” Tessa says. “I’d never have thought of that, but with all that crouching and kicking, I imagine that does translate quite well in the bedroom.”
I grin at them. “Based on my… ahem… research, I can safely say physical prowess is rather helpful when it comes to more… intimate pursuits.”
“Lucky bitch,” Nikki says, shaking her head. “Both of you, really. It’s a wonder I love you bitches as much as I do.”
“It’s because we’re rather loveable,” I say with a wry grin.
“True,” Tessa adds, nodding at me. “We’re absolutely delightful.”
“That’s because you royals have all the fun,” Nikki says, wiping bright-red sauce off her bottom lip. “You two seriously need to find me my own prince already. I’ve had it up to here with being a commoner.”
“God no. No princes,” I say, ripping off a small bite of onion cake and popping it in my mouth. “The last thing you want is to end up with some dreadfully dull royal.”
Tessa holds up her glass. “Arthur is anything but boring, thank you very much.” Looking over at Nikki, she says, “I promise I’ll continue the hunt for the perfect man for you.”
“Thanks, sweetie. Honestly, he doesn’t even have to be royal. I’ll take super hot and crazy rich, even if he’s new money.”
About the Book:
The tabloids are hunting them. Their families are turning on them. Can their love survive?
Despite the odds, Princess Arabella of Avonia and rugged outdoorsman, Will Banks, fell in love while filming a reality show in the jungle. But that’s another story.
While she’s making room in the royal closet for his hiking boots and backpacks—right next to the crown jewels—the show’s producers are editing together film footage that could turn their romance into nothing more than a showmance.
Private moments caught tape and aired for the world’s viewing pleasure are about to turn their world upside down.
Can love to conquer all?
Find out in this scandalously funny, sweet but sexy second installment The Crazy Royal Love Series…
About the Author:
Melanie Summers currently resides in Edmonton, Canada, with her husband, three ‘spirited (read totally wild) children, their adorable no-eyed dog, and one tiny puppy with a cute little brown nose. When she’s not writing novels, she loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. Melanie also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something. More like just staying until they turn the lights off.
Melanie would love to hear from you! She does her best to respond to all inquiries and emails personally. If you would like her to attend a book club meeting via Zoom, please contact her to book a date.
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