Wild with all Regrets
Author: E.L. Deards
Publisher: She Writes Press
Release Date: June 6, 2023
Genre: LGBTQ+ historical fiction
Lucas looked up. “It’s been ten years. Ten years today.” Jesus. No wonder he’d been feeling so strange lately, seeing Jamie, hearing Jamie… maybe heaven had some arbitrary time frame for getting expelled as an adorable ghost.
Jamie said nothing for a while, and Lucas couldn’t bear to look at him. “You’re not pathetic. I’m sorry it’s been so hard on you.” He touched Lucas’ knee and their eyes met. “I was worried you weren’t going to tell me the truth just now. I’m glad you did.”
“Jamie…? Did you know?” he asked, his voice barely audible. How I felt about you all this time?
How I’ve obsessed and agonized over you for the better part of two decades?
“Yeah,” he said softly, not looking away. “I think I did.”
“…And you still wanted to let me be a part of your life?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “You’re my best friend, and I love you with all my heart.” He smiled sadly. “Maybe that was cruel of me, eh? I’m sorry, Lucas.”
About the Book:
A decade has passed since Lucas Connolly lost his best friend—and the only man he’s ever loved—in World War I, but he still can’t shake his guilt over Jamie’s death. In fact, ever since losing Jamie, Lucas has heard his friend’s voice inside his head—confused about what happened to him, begging him for help. And now, suddenly, it’s not just Jamie’s voice anymore; now, a specter who looks and acts exactly like Jamie did before his death, and who is demanding answers from Lucas about what happened to him, has begun to haunt him.
Concerned about Lucas’s deteriorating mental state, his friend Angela encourages him to move on with his life, and even sets him up with a coworker whom she suspects is also gay. But Lucas is too consumed with the secret he still keeps about the part he played in Jamie’s death to even begin to form a healthy connection with someone new—and as Jamie’s ghost begins to recover his memories and get closer to the truth, Lucas’s obsession only deepens.
Ultimately, Lucas realizes that his only path forward is to first go backward—that only in examining his troubled youth, facing his deepest self, and shining a light on the shadowed parts of his past will he finally be able to set his old friend, and himself, free.
About the Author:
Emma Deards grew up in New York City and earned her undergraduate degree at Barnard College at Columbia University, where she studied Japanese literature and biology. She was then accepted to The University of Edinburgh, where she completed her veterinary degree. She remained in the UK afterward, and since then has split her time between her day job as a vet and her truest passion: writing. Emma has authored a number humor articles for In Practice, a veterinary magazine, and was the recipient in college of two writing awards: Oscar Lee Award and the Harumatsuri Award. Wild with All Regrets is her first book. She lives in Manchester, England.